There has been a lot of talk about Bush being nothing but a cowboy. You know, cowboy diplomacy, cowboy who is all hat but no cattle, Texas cowboy, and today, from England, he's crap, just a cowboy with his stetson on. First, I might ask, what's wrong with cowboys? On the one hand cowboys are romanticized, out there on the prairie, driving cattle, enduring hardships, saving widows from the bad guys, shooting it out at the OK corral, stuff like that. Is that what people have in mind when they denigrate Bush as being just a cowboy? Of course not. They have in mind some reckless jerk who shoots first and asks questions after. I don't think cowboys were really like that. But I think Bush is. It's all very confusing. It is even more confusing when you know he lives on a former pig farm, doesn't own any cattle, can't ride a horse, and is probably frightened of firearms, especially around Cheney. I think his critics get away with this label because there aren't any real cowboys around anymore to defend their image. It is even more confusing when you realize Bush isn't from Texas but, rather, from New England, didn't go to the school of hard knocks but an Ivy League school, and must have learned how to speak from watching cowboy movies. He is an absolute phony in every way. Maybe you could describe him as a "Midnight Cowboy." Why have we never seen any pictures of him on a horse. You know, with his chaps and lariat whirling while his horse rears and snorts, and all that stuff. I'm sorry, while I think he's an absolute jerk and a phony, and without doubt the most stupid man ever to hold the office, he's not a cowboy. I think the whole idea of the cowboy has been terribly distorted in recent years. Consider the movie Brokeback Mountain, widely described as a cowboy love story. The principals involved were not cowboys. They were, horrors of horror, Sheepherders! Why this movies was advertised as about cowboys I don't know. Perhaps because the director was Chinese and could not be expected to know the difference between a cowboy and a sheepherder? Do you think anyone would have bought tickets to a movie described as a love affair between sheepherders? I don't mean to demean sheepherders. I am sure they are honest, upstanding, very hardworking, decent people. But surely they lack the romantic image of the cowboy. Anyway, to describe Bush as a cowboy is to denigrate cowboys, at least our memory of cowboys. Maybe a "Drugstore Cowboy?" We need another label for him. How about a nice Indian type name, like "Knows Nothing," or "Fears Horses," or perhaps, "Kill'em All," you know, something more descriptive.
Our annual county fair started today. I spent several hours observing "the masses." I determined that the averate weight of men over thirty is probably somewhere in the vicinity of 230 pounds, most of this in bellies. The average weight of women over thirty is probably about the same, but mostly in butts. I also concluded that to expect these people to vote intelligently on the issues is too far-fetched to contemplate. The few people actually approached our Democratic booth seemed not to know who the candidates were, who they were running against, what offices were involved, and what the issues were. With one exception they declined any of the masses of literature we were prepared to offer them. There was a great deal of interest in the tractors displayed nearby. I fully expect that whoever wins will be the recipient of random forces totally divorced from reality. Pictures of the candidates seem to be far more useful than any amount of prose. I also determined that if you can impart even one slight bit of information they understand they will be on your side irrespective of any and all other considerations. Politics is really exciting. Just take my word for it and vote Democratic.