Better late than never?

Hillary Clinton, presumably the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination for president (I sincerely hope not), has now castigated Donald Rumsfeld as an incompetent Secretary of Defense. Is this not a case of closing the barn door after the horse has escaped? Rumsfeld has been incompetent from the very beginning, five or more years ago. So what took Hillary so long? Not that I can't agree with her. But where has she been all this time? One might think that as someone who voted for the "war," and someone who has consistently agreed with "staying the course," she might have paid more attention to what was going on. Oh, well, perhaps better late than never. Not that Rumsfeld will ever deign to resign. His ego simply would not allow it, just as Bush's ego would never allow him to admit a terrible mistake. Besides, Dick the Slimy would never permit it, and he obviously has the last (and only) word.

Now to Cuba. Real excitement there. Fidel Castro is sick and in the hospital. Everyone in Florida is rejoicing and praying for his death. No one seems to know what will happen next. But the one thing you can be certain of is that the Bush/Cheney administration will try to decide what should happen in Cuba. Like, it's really none of our business. Like, why can the Cubans decide what they want? Like, Cuba has been and continues to be a genuine threat to the U.S. (at least they might be if it weren't for all our nuclear submarines, aircraft carriers, overwhelming military superiority, and so on. Watch out for Cuba. They will probably attack at any moment. Oh, I forgot, they are a dastardly communist country so we cannot deal with them, we are too busy making our money dealing with the Chinese Democracy. Can anyone even remember when there was any sanity at all in our foreign policy? But damn it, American corporations could make big bucks in Cuba. I bet we could even improve on their universal health plan. And no doubt we could make a real dent in their universal literacy with our far superior educational system (just think of what no child left behind could do there). I bet if we could get control of Cuba we could even beat them in baseball. Well, maybe not. Just think what Las Vegas could do in Cuba. The whole island could become just one great neon light. I bet it would rival the northern lights. But enough of Cuba. We'll have them in our greedy clutches soon enough.

Surprise, surprise! It turns out that NSA, our spying agency, is now working for the Israelis, spying on Syria and Iran to see if they are providing missiles and stuff to Hezbollah. This is part of our "honest broker" approach to the Middle East, part of what Condi (not so nice Rice) claims is our even-handed approach to the Israeli/Palestinian/Lebanese problem. Hey, with Condi and Rummy in charge how could you even doubt for a moment that things are going to work out for the best (for Hezbollah, Syria, and Iran)? Does George W. Bush have a brain? No. Does Dick the Slimy have a brain? Perhaps, but seriously diseased. Does Rumsfeld have a brain - surely you jest. How about Condi? She has good taste in clothes (apart from her occasional dominitrix mode). But not to worry, the Senate is in the good hands of Bill Frist and the House in the good hands of Dennis Hastert, who together seem to have the full mental capacity of a gnat (perhaps a mosquito).

Just repeat after me: there is no civil war in Iraq. Things are going well. We are making progress. Repeat this 100 times without stopping. Then repeat: It is all the fault of Hezbollah, it is all he fault of Hezbollah. Israel is just defending itself, Israel is just defending itself (from those vicious three and four year olds and their mothers with the tanks and airplanes). And don't forget the mantra: we are good, they are bad, Israel is all good, everyone else is all bad. We are going to heaven (after killing enough Arabs), they are going to hell. The bible tells us so.
Happy fourth of August, 2006!