Vienna Style?

Woman kicks and hits deer attacking
her smallest poodle, suffers abdominal
bruises from defensive counter attack.

According to the RNC, when Hamas or some other similar organization endorses Obama, they are telling the truth. However, when al Quaida endorses McCain they are really endorsing Obama. Got that? As I cannot stand any further Republican nonsense I have decided to focus on one of these occasional items that bother me absolutely needlessly, what is "Vienna Style."

I like liver and onions – occasionally. The other day I found a recipe in one of Mario Batali’s cookbooks for “Liver and onions Vienna style.” I made this for myself and found it quite satisfactory (although if you followed his recipe too faithfully your liver would be somewhat overcooked). Later, out of curiosity, I looked on Google for a recipe for Vienna style liver and onions and found no such recipe. As near as I can make out, “Vienna style” in this context, according to Mario, involves cooking the flip side of the liver on top of the onions and adding a small dash of balsamic vinegar. This seemed to me a rather insignificant difference, but I guess if it makes liver and onions into Vienna style that is all well and good. Similarly, I used to have breakfast with a friend in a rather posh restaurant where he always ordered “Poached eggs Vienna style.” As I recall this was something like a combination of milk toast and poached eggs. I thought it was disgusting but it was, they claimed, “Vienna style.” He claimed it made him more virile.
Anyway, I finally just googled “Vienna style.” Wow! What I learned was mind- boggling. Not only is there a Vienna style for liver and onions and poached eggs, there is also a Vienna style for sausages and frankfurters, veal scallops, beef, schnitzel, spaghetti, and coffee, and probably even more culinary achievements. Interestingly enough, the only Vienna style I could find that was actually defined in some way was for a Vienna style lager.
Pursuing this theme further, I learned there is a Vienna style for clocks, celadon, accordions, towels, porcelain, orchestra parts, chairs, jewelry, vases, shoes, coat racks, home office sets, hotels, printed pages, and even white horses. When I came to “Vienna style love” I threw in the towel, fearful of what else I might actually uncover. I decided that except perhaps in the case of lager (a copper or reddish brown colored beer with a slight malt sweetness) and sausages (a squat, fatty canned creation that is bad for your health but has been around forever), there is no general or quintessential “style” that meaningfully defines these disparate items. Vienna style seemingly has no real meaning, although I suppose in some cases it might mean it was manufactured in Vienna (although even this is giving them the benefit of the doubt). I guess just about everything that exists is or could be described as “Vienna style” if you wished. I hesitate to even think about where “New York Style,” or “Chicago style,” or “San Francisco style,” or “New Orleans style,” might lead you. I’m pretty sure there’s no “Idaho style.” So be pleased to know you have just read an authentic Vienna style essay.

LKBIQ:
It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought.
John Kenneth Galbraith

TILT:
American English has far more words for penis than Eskimos have for snow.