Evolution and Intelligent Design

I think I may have figured this out - at last. It is basically very simple. What could be more intelligently designed than evolution? This is a natural process that occurs over time and systematically eliminates those creatures and species that don't have what it takes to make it in the rough and tumble of everyday life. What a brilliant creation! Only a super-intelligent, concerned, dedicated, and thoughtful Supernatural Being could have come up with this idea. It works perfectly, and has for millions of years, just as planned. I suspect that most human beings understand this, however subconciously or unconsciously. That is why everyone in one way or another has faith in some kind of supernatural being or beings. How else could all this have come about? It makes perfect sense. There is this mysterious process by which creatures continue to live and multiply over time, a process that is not within the bounds of human control, that brings about changes over time, no matter how slight, and continues endlessly. It links us to our ancestors and/or other supernaturals in ways we do not completely understand but becomes very real to each of us. Whoever he/she/it is that came up with this absolutely marvelous process of intelligent (I use intelligent here in its broadest sense) selection certainly should be in line for a Nobel, Pulitzer, or other prize. Personally I am jealous with envy.

Yes, I know, there is a problem with Bible believers. Obviously this intelligently designed process could not have occurred in a mere 4004 years, and probably no one ever got swallowed by a whale or hijacked onto an ark, or parted the Red Sea, or performed other strange miracles. Surely we know by now that the age of the earth is unbelievably old by human standards, that dinosaurs actually existed, that we are linked biologically to other species, that there were pre-human ancestors, that White Male Europeans are not truly the absolutely highest form of creation, and so on. So why do some few people cling to the Bible as the absolute truth? Obviously evolution, which takes time, has not completely caught up with them yet. Being completely out of touch with reality is not very useful if the goal is survival. They will surely go the way of the dinosaurs or the Dodo birds as they pretty much have except in the U.S. which is still a very young nation, comparatively speaking. You notice that Europe doesn't have this problem of nonsensical fundamentalism (and can't understand why we still do). Some American Indians understood this perplexing problem very well. That is why they prayed simply to the Great Mystery. That is what we desperately need at the moment, prayers to the Great Mystery. Never mind "put one hand on the radio and one hand on the afflicted part," or "Drop Kick me Jaysus Through the Goal Posts of Life," or "I don't care if it rains or freezes I'll be safe with my plastic Jesus." Why do I even bother with all this utter nonsense? As George Bush Senior's pal, Bill Clinton, would put it, "because I can." Be of good cheer.