The cost of doing business

You must certainly have heard by now that John Edwards paid $400 for a haircut. The Republicans are all in a snit about this and obviously think it is very important, so important they apparently think it should keep him from the White House. You may recall that three years ago they were all up in arms because John Kerry paid $75 for a haircut (he's apparently a cheapskate). And worse than that, he was wearing $250 dollar shirts (morialekafa 7-25-04). I find it interesting that no one, as far as I know, has questioned what Republicans pay for their appearances. I read somewhere that Bush pays between $2000 and $3000 for his suits (I guess they are cut special so he can wear that doohickey on his back). Anyway, as Republicans seem to be so hung up on these matters I have a suggestion. All candidates should have to report what they pay for keeping up their appearances. Now obviously you can't expect them to do this on a daily basis so I suggest that before they take part in any "debate" or whatever you want to call those dreary things they are doing nowadays, they should have to report on their accoutrements (I guess that's what you call such items). I want to know how much they paid for their haircut (do you think that perhaps Laura cuts Georgie's hair), their manicure, their pedicure (maybe they don't all have pedicures but if not they should have to report it), their suits, shirts, ties, socks, shoes, shoeshines (do you think maybe they shine their own shoes), in other words, a complete report. Oh, yeah, I forgot, they should also have to specify briefs, jockey shorts, or whatever (remember this was asked of Bill Clinton so it must be important). This is a particularly important issue when it comes to Romney. Mormons apparently are required to wear special underwear (why this is so I have no idea but no doubt it has important theological implications). I think the public is entitled to know if he wears this special underwear or not (and if not, why not).

I would also like to know if they can deduct these as business expenses (after all, if your business is conning the public you have to keep up appearances). And are these legitimate campaign expenses? That is, can you use the money you raise to keep up your appearance? I would be especially interested in the comparison between Democratic candidates and Republican ones. In terms of total expenses for appearances I bet Dennis Kucinich would come in dead last, no wonder he tends to be ignored. Besides, he's a peacenik, no one is interested in peace these days, there's no money in it. Remember image (appearance) is everything nowadays. This is why Bush pretends to be a macho cowboy, Hillary pretends to be a Democrat, Giuliani appears to be a snake-in-the-grass, Romney strives to appear honest, Edwards tries to be handsome, Obama is an oracle, and Kucinich just remains his wonderfully honest self (as there is no place for honesty in politics, Kucinich's image suffers accordingly, along with Ron Paul and Gravel).

I also think it might be a good idea, before each debate, to have the candidates report on what they had for lunch, where, how much it cost, and, most importantly, who paid for it. We can't have our candidates having $400 lunches, not after those expensive haircuts. I wouldn't pay $400 for a haircut even if I could (because I refuse to believe a haircut could possibly be worth that much). But I suppose if you are a multi-millionaire $400, relatively speaking, is about the equivalent of what most men pay for their haircuts. Republicans want you to believe that if you pay $400 for a haircut you couldn't possibly be for the "little guy." Obviously we've had extremely wealthy Presidents who did, in fact, stand up for the little guy. The Republicans problem with this is they can't imagine anyone being interested at all in the "little guy." They reserve their interest for the guys that can spend $8000 for a shower curtain or $40,000,000 for a Picasso. Hey, it takes all kinds to make a world.

It is very hot here at Sandhill these days. You have to do your gardening before 9:00 a.m. if you don't want to suffer. I think it's that pesky global warming with its extremes of temperature that Bush/Cheney keep pretending doesn't really exist (it might actually cost a few bucks to save the earth but what the hell...).

LKBIQ:

"Sociology is the study of how the masses are being exploited by an elite bourgeoisie."
Max Schulman