Dying conversations

As everything in the world seems to be shut down for the weekend as usual, at least so the MSM seems to be indicating (nothing happening in Iraq, or Afghanistan), consider the following conversation between us elderly ones:

"Hello. You must have read my mind. I've been going to call you. So howzitgoing?"

"Well, we're still alive, still here."

"You're okay? How's your wife. I heard from someone she was in the hospital."

"Yeah. She was for a couple of days. High blood pressure. But they got it under control now. She's a diabetic, you know. But now she falls out of bed. It's so bad we had to push the bed right up against the wall. It's weird, but she does it all the time."

"That is weird. But how about you? You okay?"

"Well, I guess so. Of course I have this spastic colon. And arthritis. In my back. It's a real pain in the butt."

"Sorry to hear it. But everyone our age has arthritis. I have it in my back, too. And sometimes in my hands. So, what else is wrong?"

"Well, my dog has cancer. He's old. Had him for twenty years. But he won't last much longer. Poor thing, he's obviously in pain. Guess I'll have to have him put down. My swimming pool has a big crack in it. It'll cost thousands to fix. And we don't even use the dman thing now that the kids are gone. Probably cost even more to take it out. Air conditioning is out, too. You can't live here without it. Don't know how much that will be. Always something."

"Yeah, that happens. We lost one of our cats that way. My son's cat. He was really upset. There's nothin' you can do about it. Cats and dogs get old just like we do. Apropro of nothing, you ever hear from Larry?"

"Not for a long time. But his wife sent us an email. His Parkinson's is so bad he's now in a nursing home, and probably will be until the end."

"God, that's terrible. Remember when we stayed up all night arguing with him about purse snatching? He argued vehemently there was no economic motive for it, it was really a symbolic attack on the female genitals. Did he ever give up that Freudian bullshit?"

"Oh yeah. I remember. I think he might have given it up. What about John? You ever hear from him?"

"Where you been? He died two years ago. Lung cancer. He didn't even smoke."

"I didn't hear. God, that's a bummer. What about Vivian? Remember her, the "Fair Vivian? She was a real doll. Whatever happened to her?"

"She had breast cancer several years ago. They operated and removed both breasts. But then she had a relapse and passed away."

"That's terrible. What about Wally, remember him?"

"Of course. He had a triple bypass and went into one of those assisted living places. He calls it the Penultimate Arms. Guess he still has a sense of humor."

"Jeez, everyone is going. Pretty soon you and I will be the only ones left."

"Yeah. But I'm really glad you called. Nice talking to you. Let's talk again soon."

"Sure. Bye."

Sighareeni!!! "Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are."