Monday, November 01, 2004

Silk purse or sow's ear?


the question of the day is: will Karl Rove’s black, black magic manage to convert a sow’s ear into a silk purse? He’s certainly done well so far, taking a several times failed businessman, ex-drunkard, coke sniffing, National Guard (AWOL) drop out, totally undistinguished Governor of Texas, lying, incompetent pretend President war criminal who should have resigned or been impeached, into a finalist for President of the United States. That is no mean accomplishment. We should have an answer to this question sometime late tomorrow night. I do not think “yes” is going to be the answer. If I’m wrong I’ll chalk it up to the same absolutely insane American public who elected Ronald Reagan. I will also promise to never again predict anything about American politics.

But let’s go back to the explosives scandal for a moment. Three hundred eighty tons (380) of explosives were known to exist but were left unguarded so they could be looted by those who do not like the American occupation of their country. First, someone in the Administration suggested they must have been removed before the “war.” Wrong. Then it was suggested the Russians must have had something to do with it, probably moving them to Syria (wrong, never mind the unbelievable damage this could have done to Russian-American relations). Then they brought out a major who claimed he had destroyed 250 tons of explosives at the site (but he had no idea if they were the explosives at issue – this has to have been one of the most awkward, embarrassing presentations ever attempted). Then it was suggested that it was the fault of the current Iraqi government. Wrong. Then Rudolf Guiliani said it must have been the fault of the troops for not looking carefully enough (anything to shift the blame from where it belongs and to gain points for what?). But the one I like the best by far: even though 380 tons of these explosives could potentially kill hundreds of thousands of people, and destroy hundreds if not thousands of buildings, not to worry, THEY ONLY MADE UP ONE HALF OF ONE PERCENT OF THE EXPLOSIVES THAT EXISTED!!! I was really comforted to hear that.

Anyway, tomorrow is the big day. The one we have been waiting for, for how long has it been, a century or two? Now we can decide whether he American electorate is sane or insane. Now we can truly discriminate between good and evil, between the Rapture and reality, science and fantasy, fact and fiction, truth and absolute balderdash. GET OUT AND VOTE!! And vote as if your life depends upon it, because it probably does.

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