Victory is ours!

On Monday Night Football, apparently just before the game, ABC featured a commercial for their program, Desperate Housewives (I think that’s what it is called). I did not see this commercial when it first showed but, of course, I saw it several times later as they showcased it to show what the fuss was about (and thereby received much more attention than they would have otherwise achieved). If you missed it, it went like this: There is a blond woman with nothing on but a towel. She apparently has just emerged from a shower. This is in the locker room of a Professional Football Team. She is imploring (seducing) a black football player to not play in the impending game but, instead, to stay with her. Finally, she drops the towel and jumps naked onto the suited football player, who presumably gives in to her wiles. Many people called in to complain about this ad. ABC apologized – for the timing! The NFL also more or less apologized. The player involved, and some others, said they didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Shades of Janet Jackson’s boob! We’ve come a long ways, baby.

But on to more important things. The University of California, Berkeley has determined that according to their analysis of Florida electronic voting, George W. Bush must have received somewhere between 130,000 and 260,000 more votes than he should have. But what do those pinko, dirty-mouthed liberal, socialistic, free-speechers know? They have apparently complained to the Florida election officials. Hey, good luck, just as in the 2000 “election.”

Bush has taken to kissing his female Cabinet Appointees. This is, no doubt, to demonstrate their independence and ability to do their jobs as they see fit, without any guidance from the White House. He has not yet kissed any of the male appointees. I guess this is because he believes having them anointed in oil is sufficient.

We have declared victory in Fallujah! We now have control of an absolutely deserted and almost completely destroyed city that used to have 250,000 inhabitants. Having killed thousands of innocent civilians, including mostly the relatives of those who are being invited back to their city, we will no doubt find them grateful and eager to cooperate. Of course most of the terrorists (anyone who opposes the occupation of their country) left before the invasion began to go to other cities to carry on the opposition. But not to worry, we are assured that things are going well and even ahead of schedule (whatever that means). Anyone who believes the Bush Administration is not stark raving mad are themselves stark, raving mad. If there is a God, he is a malevolent being who has cursed he United States of America.