Saturday, October 02, 2004

Being an Only Child - essay

Morialekafa is going on another vacation. In the meantime:

I'm an only child and proud of it! I'm sick and tired of being stereotyped because of the accident of my birth (this is not to suggest that I was simply an accident). Throughout my entire life, which is a considerable number of years now, I have been automatically assumed by everyone to be spoiled and, as a result, selfish, self centered, and bratty. All because of something entirely out of my hands. Through no fault of my own (in fact, in spite of being an only child I actually don't have faults - at least I don't think I do) I have been stigmatized for life. No judge, no jury. No empirical evidence. No statistics. Nothing. Guilty and cannot be proven innocent. This judgement is passed on me even by people who have met me for the first time and barely said hello. The only information they need to completely understand me is the simple fact that I have no siblings.
Now what right does anyone have to assume that I was (and presumably still am) a greedy, selfish, self-centered little autocrat that was given anything and everything I ever wanted and always had to have my own way? I prefer to think of myself as a strong personality who knows his own mind and has the courage of his convictions. As a matter of fact, I wasn't given everything I wanted. And I certainly didn't often get my own way. My parents were not stupid. They were perfectly aware of the dangers of the "only child syndrome." How do you think they feel when I stand accused? Don't you think it might well be insulting to the parents of only children to be automatically classified as doting, weak-minded, and inept? To be accused of constantly caving in to the demands of some puny, mewing little bundle of undisciplined protoplasm? Why doesn't anyone ever assume that the reason people have only one child is because they quickly come to the conclusion that one is enough. That children are better seen than heard? That they are too expensive and not worth the trouble? No, the assumption is always that your parents were overprotective, overgenerous, and overconcerned, to say nothing of outmaneuvered, outsmarted, outguessed, and, paradoxically, even outnumbered by a party of one.
If the sociologists and psychologists are as concerned about stereotyping and labeling as they claim to be, why don't they look into this insidious business? Being stereotyped myself I can sympathize with Blacks, Reds, Yellows, Browns and all other assorted stereotypes. But they don't sympathize with me. They assume I am just as rotten as everyone else does. It's not fair. Is there a Benevolent Order of the Only Child? Group Therapy for only children? Are there any specialists in only children at all? Special stores? Agencies? Grants in Aid? Any Only Children Anonymous? If not, why not? Only children need love and undertanding just like everyone else. How about a Big Brothers and Sisters for Only Children Agency? Or maybe Adopt an Only Child Day? Perhaps an Only Child Hotline? What about Equal Opportunities for Only Children? Whatever, the time has come to do something about this prejudicial and discriminatory practice that has run rampant for long enough. Only children of the world, unite
rialekafa is going on another vacation. Be back in a week. In the meantime:

1 comment:

kelisue said...

Give it up for only children.

I agree.