Excercise - essay

Politics! I absolutely cannot take any more at the moment. This country and the world are so totally in a disaster mode that I am rendered momentarily speechless. Here is another essay to take our minds off the disaster that is not so quietly enfolding.

I'm not opposed to exercise. Far from it. Or at least kind of far from it. But I confess that if it's not associated with some kind of game - tennis, soccer, basketball, even golf - I find it boring. I've tried jogging. Boring. I've tried swimming laps. Double boring. I walk. Boring. Even so, can there be anything more boring than an exercise machine. A treadmill, for example. If walking outdoors on a beautiful sunny day is boring, walking inside on a treadmill has to be quadruple boring (unless, maybe, if there's something good on TV - a rarity, these days). Adding little handles you pull at the same time you walk, while perhaps giving a bit more exercise, does not make it any the less boring. And how about those stair-stepping machines? You know, you stand in one place pumping one foot after the other, pretending your climbing stairs. Makes you wonder why people don't just climb stairs. Even if they don't happen to have any, stairs are not difficult to find. Frankly, climbing stairs, unless they lead to a bar or disco or something, is every bit as boring as any other of these activities.
Of course there's always those Nordic Track machines where you simulate cross-country skiing. I have no doubt they may be an excellent form of exercise but what do you see as you engage in this make believe? Your bedroom or living room wall, no doubt. Rowing machines, too, are supposed to be good for you. If you use them, that is. I'll bet most rowing machines waste away their years in garages and closets after perhaps the first week of eager rowing. And why not, what could be more boring than simulated rowing in your living room? Not much. The same is true of stationary bicycles. If people want to bicycle why don't they just go out and get a bicycle and bicycle? Why don't they get a boat and go rowing? Or get some cross-country skis and go skiing?
Oh, I know, the weather. It's probably the weather sometimes but more likely it's laziness. It's much easier to just pull something out from under your bed or wherever and sit or lay and pretend.
I won't go into weight-lifting and muscle-building. The very idea is boring beyond belief. And I doubt it does much for your health in any case. Just makes you more and more muscular until you end up looking like a freak and can no longer throw a ball or run a decent race. The latest craze seems to be "Ab" machines. There are various designs but they all basically imitate doing sit ups. So, you ask, why not just do sit ups? Damned if I know. You don't need any equipment for it, just a little space on the floor somewhere. Oh, I know, they claim the machines help support your back, or neck, or something-or-other. I doubt it. In fact, I doubt they are as good an exercise as just plain sit-ups (when done properly, of course).
The thing that bothers me the most about these various exercise machines is that they all involve lying. That is, they most probably don't do for you what they promise. But even beyond that claim, they insist on telling you they are "easy," or "fun". Where do they get the chutzpa to claim that spending fifteen minutes on a treadmill is easy? Or cross-country skiing for fifteen or more minutes in your living room is easy? I assure you that if you're serious about your exercise, these are not easy. They are even more obviously not fun. If you have ever tried any one of these various semi-scams you know perfectly well that the one thing they are not, is fun, and certainly not fun in the sun. Winston Churchill once said he got his exercise carrying the coffins of his friends. It might not be fun, but it's better than pretending.