As the Worms Turn

If you have been watching this program for the last few years you will remember the trials and tribulations of the main characters. There was and is the one and only “Mitt,” the candidate almost no one wanted, competing desperately against a host of others all determined to defeat him, there was the memorable Sarah, also Michele, Herman, Donald, the two Ricks, that Minnesota guy who didn’t last long at all, and Ron, the Libertarian, to say nothing of the indefatigable Newt, all with their moments in the sun competing to defeat Mitt and earn an opportunity to bring down the Black knight, Barack Hussein. One by one they lost and dropped out until Mitt achieved the cherished goal of potentially riding the white horse to victory.

There were some epic moments when various candidates tried to defeat Mitt, who some believed belong to a strange cult that was not what it claimed to be. They all insisted Mitt was a notorious flip-flopper who had been on both sides of every issue of importance, an accusation that was known to be true but simply did not seem to matter. Mitt was savagely attacked by his rivals for claiming false credentials, for his life style, his fortune, his lack of military experience, his ignorance of foreign policy, and even the treatment of his dog, all to no avail. Mitt, with virtually unlimited support from wealthy donors, and his ability to spend lavishly to overwhelm his rivals eventually emerged the clear victor.

Now, the battle joined, we watch breathlessly as the story develops. Mitt, with no program of his own to offer, has to attack Barack Hussein mercilessly. Barack Hussein, he repeats endlessly, is a failure, does not understand how to manage the economy, and is naïve when it comes to foreign policy. There are also sly hints about his background and his ancestry. Was he actually born in the U.S., might he really be a Muslim, a socialist, an “Other” of some kind with a secret plan to deliver our country into the hands of our Muslim enemies? Of course he has a plan to take away our guns and does not support our ally, Israel, the country that can do no wrong no matter how many times it is condemned by the international community. Mitt’s supporters are prepared to spend billions to remove Barack Hussein from office. Unfortunately for Barack Hussein there are enough members of Congress to successfully block all of his attempts to govern effectively. They manage to keep unemployment at levels high enough to presumably end his Presidency at the end of one term.

Barack Hussein is proving to be tougher than Mitt and his cronies thought. In spite of their attempts to cripple him Barack Hussein has managed to accomplish some worthwhile things and has his own supporters who are committed to keeping him in office. A bit of an idealist, Barack Hussein began his term in office attempting to compromise with Mitt’s factions, only to find after years of experience, that would be an impossible task. We have had to watch in awe as the Mitt supporters have taken us to the brink of bankruptcy to get their way. Tougher now than in the beginning, Barack Hussein is fighting back, more or less successfully so far, turning Mitt’s supposed strengths into weaknesses and exposing him as a merciless vulture capitalist making his fortune by exporting jobs and dodging taxes.

So now we watch and wait while this national soap opera continues. Will the mysterious Mitt have to release his taxes for the past few years, making public the dark secrets contained therein, or will he continue to stonewall? Will Mitt’s unscrupulous allies raise enough doubts about Barack Hussein to gain enough votes? Will the Rove behind the “roviating” strategy he perfected against Kerry work this time? Will a few billionaires succeed in buying the U.S.? Will Mitt continue to perform so badly his own supporters might abandon him at the last moment? Will Ron disrupt the coming convention, demanding the impossible? Will Mitt’s chickens come home to roost and lay the golden egg of defeat? Will Barack Hussein’s marvelous smile be enough to win him enough votes? Can the grand Republican scam work or will the voters see through it? Will Barack Hussein survive the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?” Will “happy days” be here again? There has never been an election cycle as fantastic as this one, enjoy it while you still can, before all those neglected problems like global warming and nuclear disaster render it all moot. Those parasitic worms otherwise known as humans have led the good life long enough, they are finally about to destroy their host.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Larry Hardiman