Another Bill Sali?

Father stabs teenage son
In buttocks for not removing
his hat In church.

I have always known that Walt Minnick is basically a Republican (he was one of only 8 Democrats to vote against the stimulus). But what I did not know is that he is also apparently an incipient Bill Sali. How else could one explain his being the sole Democrat to vote against H.R. 911, a bill “to establish standards and enforcement provisions to prevent child abuse and neglect in residential programs…” I guess I forgot two important facts: (1) he represents Idaho, a state only on the periphery of civilization, and (2) for Republicans, civil rights begin at conception and end at birth. Whatever his reasons were they must have been pretty idiosyncratic as all other Democrats voted for the bill and a large number of Republicans also.

President Obama gave a marvelous speech to Congress last night, sufficient on issues and details, long on hope. Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, chosen to give the Republican response, apparently heard a different speech. He did not advance his quest for the Presidency. In fact, I suspect he ended his quest. It seems that virtually everyone, both Republicans and Democrats, thought he was just plain awful. He seems to have only one supporter – Rush Limbaugh. I particularly enjoyed the camera shots of most of the Republicans, sitting there like a bunch of guilty whipped puppies. I applaud Obama’s great pick of Gary Locke, former Governor of Washington, to be Secretary of Commerce. I don’t know what Obama could have been thinking when he tried appointing Republican Judd Gregg, who fortunately declined on grounds of temporary insanity. We are, it seems, apparently moving forward in spite of the mindless “no” party.

There are those who seem unable to believe that Obama was born an American citizen. I guess they either don’t read or watch TV, or else they believe there is a conspiracy by the U.S. Government, the State of Hawaii, all of the Newspapers and News Programs, and more, to deceive them. This reminds me of a story I once heard, or read: A speaker somewhere was making a speech in which he claimed something was true. A young man in the audience asked if he could produce some evidence for his claim. When the speaker said he did not have the evidence with him, the man said, “if you cannot provide the evidence, I cannot believe you.” The speaker then asked him, “do you have your birth certificate with you?” When the young man said he did not, the speaker said, “You will not mind, then, if a call you an impertinent young bastard.” Am I wrong, or does America truly have more than our rightful share of loonies?

I do not understand American men’s obsession with breasts, or with nudity either, for that matter. I saw today somewhere that a topless coffee shop has opened somewhere in Maine, with three topless waitresses and one topless waiter. Wow! Now that’s exciting! And of course we have our well-known Hooters restaurants. Is it the case that American men are unfamiliar with breasts or the rest of the female anatomy? I have worked in places where all the women routinely go topless. No one pays any attention, even I became totally accustomed to it after the first hour or two. Perhaps it has to do with too much bottle feeding, so it represents some kind of subconscious desire for mama? I can’t believe that it makes coffee or food taste better. Similarly, have most American men never seen a naked female body? If not, where have they been? Nowadays one can see all the naked bodies you could ever desire just by turning on your TV (and apparently a great many men do this routinely now in hotel rooms). And of course nudity is even pretty common now in regular motion pictures, even when there is no ostensible reason to show nudity. Obviously breasts and nudity are in demand. There must be something wrong with me because I just don’t get it. Perhaps I’m just too old. I’m sure I giggled and ogled when I was a teenager. Maybe I’m repressing this. Maybe I just grew up to be a prude. I don’t know, but I don’t get it. When I’m hungry or thirsty I just want food and drink, I don’t really care much what my server looks like. A graduate student just returned from his fieldwork once asked his advisor, a well known physical anthropologist, if he would like copies of any of his pictures. He said, “yeah, gimme one each of the titty pictures and one of the kid pissin’.” Oh, the romance of anthropology! Once when I was a boy, one of our two local theaters was running some kind of adventure/travel picture. They advertised that no one under 18 would be allowed. Naturally we were curious and wanted to attend. Apparently business was bad because after the first day they removed the restriction. The shocking scenes we were to have been denied were native women topless. We were very disappointed. But while I’m on the subject, how many topless or naked white women did you ever seen in the National Geographic? Man,we live in a strange world indeed.

LKBIQ:
I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.
Shelley Winters

TILT:
Fish do not have occipital condyles.