Christmas Carols

Three young ladies fired
from KFC for bathing
in oversized kitchen sink.

Perhaps I’ve just grown too old, but I confess I do not like Christmas Carols. I’m not certain I ever liked them, except for the fact that they symbolized Christmas which I do like. It seems to me you could not possibly find another collection of songs so insipid. I have reached the point where I cringe when I am forced to listen to them, and of course at this time of year you cannot possibly escape. I mean, like, the lyrics are absurd, at least many of them. What am I to make of “round yon virgin?” If she is that round it doesn’t seem credible to me that she is also a virgin. Then there are lyrics where the night wind talks to lambs, and the lambs, in turn, talk to the shepherds. I don’t believe in talking lambs. There are other lyrics that I cannot make head or tail of: “Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying, Sealed in the stone-cold tomb,” does nothing for me, and it certainly doesn’t cheer me up for having a jolly good time. “Bruise in us the Serpent’s head” I don’t get either. An almost ubiquitous feature of these annual noises is the sound of angels singing, “sing, choir of angels,” or “Angels singing through the night.” Frankly, if I ever hear angels singing I’m heading for the nearest psychiatrist.

Also, this time of year, if you don’t like the religious carols, where can you turn? How about those old standbys like “Jingle Bell Rock,” a real musical treat. Then there is “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” a song so ridiculous it made Gene Autrey a millionaire. Of course “Frosty the Snowman” is a catchy little tune, especially if you are interested in anthropomorphic snowmen. “Must be Santa” is so dumb I guess it has universal appeal. I’ve always rather liked “Jingle Bells,” although there is a line that I wonder about: a gent drives by and the lyric goes, “He laughed as there I sprawling lie but quickly drove away.” As this is a Christmas song I assume this doesn’t mean that he just left the guy there to freeze to death. He must have just thought it was funny to see someone sprawled out in the snow. At least I hope that is the gist of the matter. Years ago I tried to pretend that I liked all these dreary or ridiculous songs but I’m old enough now so that I don’t even have to pretend to like them. So bah, humbug!

It has certainly been a great Christmas season for the financial industry that received a 700 billion dollar gift, no questions asked. There were other huge generous gifts as well. Today the House voted to give 15 billion to the Big 3 auto makers, but those Republican scrooges in the Senate may not agree to it. In any case, the 15 billion is apparently going to come with so many strings attached, along with a “car czar,” the bulk of the money will probably be eaten up by administrative costs before it ever gets to the auto makers. Seven hundred billion to the financial industry who got us into this mess in the first place, no strings attached. Fifteen billion begrudgingly to the auto manufacturers, many strings. This fits in beautifully with the Republican belief that the way to make money is to have money. They don’t believe in work, and believe that actually working with your hands to actually produce something is beneath them. They point to their Japanese auto plants in the South as examples of successful auto-making. But they don’t mention the huge subsidies they have given these companies in the form of tax breaks and etc., probably to the tune of billions. If I didn’t know just how much Republicans loved labor unions I might suspect there is a bit of union busting involved. I have a suspicious mind.

LKBIQ:

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
Don Marquis

TILT:
The late Studs Terkel was named after Studs Lonigan, a fictional character in a trilogy by James T. Farrell.