Great Republican Ideas

Whaddya mean Republicans have no ideas? They have all kinds of great ideas. In fact I will be sad when the election is over as I would like to see how some of their ideas might come to fruition. One idea I am particularly interested in is Herman Cain’s idea that in order to be President of the United States you don’t have to know anything. This great idea seems to rest on the assumption that if you don’t know everything about everywhere you don’t need to know anything about anything (you just listen to your advisors and presumably do whatever they say). This is an idea that has had at least some confirmation in the person of Rick Perry who has demonstrated pretty clearly that you don’t have to know anything to be Governor of Texas. He’s having a bit of trouble transferring his know-nothingness to the national stage, but he’s still in the running. He has the idea that if you are 21 years of age you should vote on November 12th (three years after you are eligible and six days after the election is over). Great idea!

Rick Santorum’s great idea, I’m not sure he has more than one or two at most, is that we should be teaching creationism in our schools (and trying to prevent Gay marriages). Surely these are ideas whose time has come. It’s true that the 19th and 20th centuries have come and gone, but there’s no reason we shouldn’t use the 21st century to make up for lost time by just turning the clock back on whatever progress science and culture have to offer. I guess Michele Bachmann might be considered here as well, she seems to have no connection with facts or reality. She has the idea she has never said anything inaccurate during the campaign, and also that God has instructed her to run (I wonder where she has been all this time).

Ron Paul is a more difficult case. He does have one truly super idea, no more “wars.” But when you consider his more basic ideas you have to imagine what life would be like living back in the 18th century (or before). For example, his claim there is no natural right for health care and that people are entirely responsible for their own health care, employment, and everything else. He is right, of course, on health care, but he seems oblivious to the human need for health care. There are, as far as I know, no natural or god-given rights of any kind. The various rights humans possess, like health care in particular, are rights they are granted by their governments, they possess them by being members of civilized societies that have as their responsibility the health and well-being of their citizens. Paul seems to envision a group of people living basically without government, a situation that has never prevailed in human society. Indeed, it is generally the purpose of human society (government) to organize and provide for the citizens. As far as returning to the gold standard goes, another Paul idea, that is not even as realistic as teaching pigs to fly and breed with creatures from outer space. No human society has ever existed without “government” no matter how “primitive.”

Of course the really great idea man of the Republican Party (if you don’t believe it just ask him) is Newt Gingrich, self-proclaimed intellectual, number one egomaniacal hypocrite, con man extraordinary, and flip-flopping hired gun. You pay for it, he delivers. Among his more recent great ideas is firing union janitors from the schools and making children do the work. He also has an idea for treating Mexican drug dealers, simply execute them (I don’t know if he has cleared this with the Mexican government). He also thinks Singapore has the proper approach to the drug problem, just execute anyone found with a tad too many drugs. This is a great idea, especially if you have no knowledge or understanding of the problem, treat all drug users the same, deny that it is basically a medical rather than a political problem, and etc. Gingrich also has the idea that if he, personally, is not elected President, it will only be a short time until a Gay and Secular Fascism will take control of our country. He has other ideas, too numerous to mention, all of which are predicated on the assumption that only he possesses wisdom in any form and that whatever he says must be taken as gospel. I can’t wait to see him as President.

We must not forget Mitt Romney. I’m not sure he actually has any ideas of his own, other than getting rich and becoming President. He seems to select whatever ideas seem to fit his needs of the moment. I will not comment on his religious ideas as he has assured us they have nothing to do with politics. A glance at Romney’s ideas (I gather taken from others) on Foreign Policy are enough to make you want to run and hide. John Huntsman may or may not have ideas, decent or otherwise, but he is not allowed to participate as he thinks science is meaningful and at least some knowledge of Foreign Affairs is helpful.

The latest great Republican idea has to do with paying for the extension of the payroll tax exemption. Democrats, and Obama, have the crazy idea it might be paid for with a 2% increase in taxes paid by those making more than one million dollars a year, money they would almost surely never miss, and money that many of them think they should pay. Republicans have a better idea. While they begrudgingly will agree to the payroll tax extension, they insist it should be paid for by freezing the wages of Federal employees and taking more from ordinary working people. See, I told you, they have all kinds of great ideas. The Divine Right of Kings was child’s play compared to the new Divine Right of the Obscenely Wealthy.

At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religous or political ideas.

Aldous Huxley