Friday, July 03, 2009

Babbling Sara

DVD for Elementary School memories
accidentally contains six seconds
of teacher having sex on a couch.

I saw Sara Palin’s resignation speech. She was babbling. You know how it is when a child is caught red-handed doing something wrong, refuses to confess the truth, and just starts babbling. That’s the way it was with Palin. Her non-stop rapid delivery, her rather incoherent claims, and the Friday afternoon timing, suggest to me there is much more here than meets the eye. I do not believe she is resigning to save the state of Alaska money, nor do I believe she is doing it in any way for the state of Alaska. I also do not believe she is doing it to prepare to run for the Presidency in 2012. All of what she said sounds like reasons made up to explain a decision made for some completely different reason. Will we ever know the truth? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone finds out before long. I’m pretty sure there must be some kind of scandal involved and she wants to try to clear the air (or muddy the waters, as the case may be). Anyway, it’s pretty certain she will not be running for President, too bad as it would have been such fun watching her stumble, fumble and fall (oh, no I meant running down the court and passing the ball off for victory). I suppose it is possible that she really believes that resigning after only two and a half years as Governor of Alaska will give her time to cram for the Presidency. If so, she is even dumber than I thought (that is hardly possible).

In any case another Republican hopeful goes down the tube. They are not doing well. Sanford has proven himself to be an idiot, Ensign also “sinned,” Palin is probably finished in politics, Jindall’s pathetic performance has rendered him inoperative, Gingrich makes Ensign and Sanford look like angels, Giuliani already proved himself to be a disaster, Cantor is too much of a lightweight, Santorum is gone, as is Allen of Macaca fame, Huckabee is a kind of clown, and McCain will surely be too old this time. I guess that leaves Hayley Barbour with all the charm of a giant toad. Maybe they can get that other famous black conservative to run again, you know, Alan Keyes, he’s a real winner. Watch out for Colin Powell. If he wants to run I bet the Republicans will forgive him for backing Obama, especially if it looks like he might be able to win. And with Obama flunking out right and left, and the Democratic party unable to agree even on what kind of donuts to order, Powell might actually win and redeem himself from his uncommonly dishonest promotion of the Iraqi “war.” He has just surfaced again with some (fatherly?) economic advice for Obama. Oh, I almost forgot, there’s Mitt Romney. He’s got oodles of money and lots of houses, in addition to all the charm of a pathological liar. He’s also a Mormon. I thought they didn’t lie. Oh well, what do I care? Maybe if he got to be President he could reinstate polygamy. I think that would be fine with me, as long as I didn’t have to participate. Any man who would want more than one wife at a time, in my opinion, has to be a bit “tetched.” Live and let live, that’s what I say. I say it first thing every morning. No one seems to listen.

Of course none of this will even make a ripple in the ongoing Michael Jackson sunami. Even if Palin’s resignation turns out to be because of some scandal it will only get lost in the Michael Jackson hysteria (that may be what she is counting on), the Sanford story has pretty much already run its course, and it is hard to see what could possibly happen that would interrupt the non-stop Michael Jackson saga. The Iraqi, Iran, Afghanistan, and Israel/Palestinian situations certainly haven’t, and it looks like Obama’s trip to Russia will also fall by the wayside (who cares about nuclear bombs anyway). And so, dear readers, you might as well settle in for months of Michael Jackson. Aaaaaaaagh!

Meanwhile, back in Realityland, the coal companies continue to rip off the tops of mountains and pollute the streams, unemployment is still rising, banks and insurance companies are making money, Gays are still getting kicked out of the military, California and some other states are going bankrupt, the Bush/Cheney obsession with secrecy is alive and well in the Obama administration, our blatant war criminals go about getting rich and boasting of how well their torture worked, everyone is trying to ignore North Korea as simply a spoiled child, along with global warming, the Gaza genocide continues unabated, as do the illegal settlements, and the hasty execution of Saddam Hussein allows Bush Sr. and Rumsfeld, among others, to escape all kinds of embarrassing questions. But think on the bright side. The earth is still in orbit (I think), the sun still rises in the morning (or has been), all of the songbirds have not yet disappeared, surgically enhanced vaginas are “in,” gangster movies are making a comeback, the totally failed “war on drugs” rages on pointlessly, and it’s the Fourth of July holiday weekend (whoopee, for anyone who still has a job or any money). Life is…well life is.

What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer.
Douglas Adams

A watched pot will eventually boil.

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