Friday, August 27, 2004

Medals shmedals

First it was the Swift Boat Veterans for (un)Truth claiming that John Kerry did not deserve the various medals he was awarded in Vietnam. That they have been totally discredited doesn’t seem to matter. They persist. Then when Bob Dole entered the fray by claiming Kerry got his purple hearts without any blood, some people claimed he didn’t deserve his medals either. Indeed, someone claims his first purple heart was awarded because he shot himself in the foot or some such thing. Now someone else has determined that George W. Bush posed for a photograph wearing a medal (ribbon) he had never earned. It would appear this has become an exceedingly important issue in this election year. Certainly we should not waste our time on trivia such as health care, unemployment, the national debt, the deteriorating environment, the little troubles in Afghanistan and Iraq, war profiteering, treason, torture, or things like that. So I have a suggestion.

If I recall correctly it was Napoleon who first started the business of awarding medals to his troops and officers (I believe he was responsible for canned food as well, but that would be an unnecessary digression). I suggest we create a Commission to Investigate Medals, Past and Present. The Commission should be given an unlimited budget and be allowed to hire as many researchers as necessary, all on a cost plus basis, of course.You know, just like Halliburton. This would do wonders for the unemployment problem and would eventually give us a final and definitive answer as to who truly deserved their medals and who did not. It would probably not take more than a century or two and we would then be free to move on to something not quite as important but deserving of at least some attention. You have to set priorities, you know, if you want to run a country.


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