Grandma's Dishes

Foreplay goes bad when
her knife slips as she tries
to cut off his underwear.

As the United States government has proven to be so dysfunctional as to be little more than laughable, and as I cannot even think about it at the moment as anything but another Loonytunes cartoon, or maybe a Three Stooges movie short, or maybe at best something out of W.C. Fields, I have decided to consider a problem closer to home, Grandma’s dishes, a problem I think symptomatic of our times.

You see, my wife still has her Grandmother’s dishes. Her grandmother died in her nineties and probably acquired these dishes when she married, which means she must have had them for some seventy years at least. As my wife is approaching sixty that means these dishes are very old, antiques beyond a doubt. My mother-in-law could have inherited these dishes but chose not to as she already has far too many dishes and, besides, she didn’t want to bother taking care of them (they cannot simply be put in the dishwasher). These are fine china, a full setting for eight, with crystal wine glasses (white, red and water), and all the extras that you need to set a grand table and serve your guests in style. Not only do we possess this fine china, we also have her sterling silver for eight, along with a number of sterling silver serving dishes. In the twenty-five years we have possessed this marvelous setting we have used it probably no more than three times, always when we had a special guest who was sensitive enough to appreciate what it was all about. We love it and treasure it as a valuable heirloom.

Lest you misunderstand let me make clear that this Grandmother was not what you might call truly rich. She was at best what might have been described in those days as “well-off,” or perhaps upper middle class, but definitely not “upper crust.” Also, lest you might misunderstand, Grandmother’s possession of fine china and silver was by no means unusual. True, poor people did not possess such treasures, but most people of the middle class, especially the upper middle class, had such possessions. Indeed, it was so common for brides to receive gifts of silver and dishes it was not considered in the least unusual. Most of the families I knew when I was young possessed such treasures and I assure you we were by no means wealthy. Some of these family possessions were worth more than others, it is true, but such possession were regarded as necessities for decent families who “entertained” from time to time (as most people did in those days). This was, I guess, part of what went along with the “parlors” many homes had, rooms that were used only for “company,” and “putting on the dog,” but were otherwise unused. As families were large in those days these treasures were usually passed on probably to the eldest male or else broken up to be shared by all the siblings. (I recall that my mother’s major share of the family treasures was an expensive upright piano).

I have no doubt that we are not the only family who has in their possession such china and silver. The question that arises is what is to happen to such things now that our culture has changed so dramatically in certain respects? My son, for example, is a vegetarian and has no real interest in food, let alone in entertaining, beyond sending out for pizza. His wife soon-to-be also does not cook, has little interest in cooking, and although not a vegetarian, eats very simply. They have no need whatsoever for a dinner service for eight and most probably never will have. And even if they did they would almost certainly not want to wash it all by hand, polish the silver, or have the responsibility of caring for it all. So what is to happen to this survival of bygone culture? Unless there is some kind of nostalgic return to “the way things were” I guess it will end up in an antique store somewhere, along with the thousands of other sets of china and silver that seem to already be there. I do not believe my child is much different in this respect than others of his generation, and while he might treasure the historical existence of such treasures I doubt he will find any use for them other than perhaps as a source of a bit of money. A full set of china for eight cannot be simply mounted and hung on the wall like your grandfathers gold watch or your grandmother’s woven hair necklace. Of course with the price of silver what it is nowadays it will probably be worth more melted down than as what it was intended for, after all, who wants to bother polishing silver?

I find this incredibly sad and I deplore the loss of elegance that is involved. It is symptomatic I think of what has happened to American culture in general, what with the demise of family dinners, the popularity of fast food and plastic cups, drive-through places, and all you can eat fried foods, instant mashed potatoes, and 16 ounce Pepsi colas. I know, I know, people don’t have time to eat these days, they have to grab their food and eat on the run, running, I guess, as fast as they can, perhaps waddling is more precise, to the grave. American culture has slowly changed for the better for some, but not for the middle class in general, and at the moment it appears things will just continue to get worse.

Who says the rich don’t create jobs? Didn’t Michael Jackson’s glove just fetch a cool $350,000? Didn’t Babe Ruth’s 702 home run ball sell for $264,500? Isn’t Tiger Wood’s yacht worth 20 million? Duane Hagadone’s house worth 30 million? Donald Trump’s 125 million? Bill Gates home worth 150 million? Doesn’t Jay Leno own 84 cars and 73 motorcycles? Didn’t Pablo Picasso’s Nu au Plateau de Sculpteur recently sell for 106.5 million? Think of all the jobs this creates! It’s no wonder these people need more money.

LKBIQ:
It is partly to avoid consciousness of greed that we prefer to associate with those who are at least as greedy as we ourselves. Those who consume much less are a reproach.
Charles Horton Cooley

TILT:
The ostrich is the fastest running bird and can attain speeds of up to 45 mph.