traditional dowry from two men
who had sex with his goat.
I think we need to give more consideration to what is “news.” Here is the definition from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:
1 a : a report of recent events b : previously unknown information
I believe it is fair to say that by this definition anything, anything at all, is considered news. I guess this is why our 24/7 news channels so often offer us things like car chases, house fires, domestic disputes, celebrity misfortunes, divorces, snowstorms, marriages, and human interest stories in general. I guess these things are “news,” in the sense of “reports of recent events,” sometimes even “previously unknown information,” or “materials reported in a newspaper.” The question in my mind, however, is, are they always “matter that is newsworthy?” I confess I do not often think so. Now I would certainly agree that a terrible earthquake in Haiti, and an 8.8 earthquake in Chile are truly news, and also newsworthy, but are they sufficiently newsworthy to occupy news channels for twelve or more hours at a time? I do not wish to be considered unconcerned or uncaring, but really, after the initial announcements could they not move on to other news and periodically return to the earthquakes? Do we need to have a running account of each and every additional death, every collapsing building, the history of earthquakes in that region of the world, comparisons with other earthquakes that may have once happened? Perhaps I am wrong, but it does seem to me that the MSM uses these events to actually keep us from hearing any other real newsworthy news that must be happening somewhere else. I am certain there must be enough newsworthy events going on around the world to keep the news media gainfully employed without having to dwell on one or two stories for hours or even days on end. The fact is, or so it seems, they do not really deal in the newsworthy because that would cost them money. That is, it must be much less expensive to just tune in to one story than to employ reporters to gather news from around the world. Thus, in effect, we do not truly get news in any meaningful sense, we only get what is being reported from the latest hot spot, so to speak.
Related to this dismal situation is the fact that there seems to be no news worth reporting from around the world (except for earthquakes) on Saturdays or Sundays. It can’t be that nothing happens anywhere that is newsworthy on weekends, but, rather, because the U.S. tends not to work on weekends it is assumed that the rest of the world also does the same. So…when the U.S. shuts down for the weekend so apparently does everyone else. My idle mind does not, however, and I find myself thinking about little things of no real consequence. Why, for example, should turkey wings be more expensive than drumsticks? This makes no sense to me. Why is it there are no .380 caliber revolvers, only semi-automatic pistols? Similarly, why are there no .38 caliber semi-automatic pistols (or, if there are, they must be exceedingly rare)? Why should a letter from Bonners Ferry to Vancouver, Canada cost .75 cents, when a letter from Bonners Ferry to New York (a much farther distance) cost only .44 cents? Why is a pork roast a roast, whereas a ham is baked? What might be done with all those unused spaces that often lead into rest rooms? Apparently they are designed to maximize privacy (it wouldn’t do for anyone to actually see into the rest room itself), so there is a sort of dead space, sometimes even a little room, between the entrance to the bathroom and the bathroom itself. We here in the U.S. do not utilize these spaces for anything. The French, however, being more practical, station someone in these spaces to hand out towels and cosmetics and things, for a small contribution, of course. Think how many of these spaces must exist in the U.S., and then think of all the jobs that might be created (they would probably have to be subsidized I guess). Why are there no medium or ordinary sized eggs? All I can ever find is Jumbo, extra-large, and large. Why are both children and goats referred to as “kids?” Why is a liquid cup not the same as a cup of anything else? Why…oh, never mind. I warned you. Why does an idle mind never stop?
LKBIQ:
Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.
Ian Shoales
TILT:
Gene Sarazen made a rare double eagle with a 225 yard 4 wood shot to win the second Masters golf tournament, the shot “heard around the world.”
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