Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Sex, Lies, and...More Lies

Upset when gas pump is
turned off, man drives SUV
through plate glass window.

You may think I have abandoned my hobby, “Collecting Sex Advice for Women from the Covers of Women’s Magazines,” but you would be wrong. It’s the greatest hobby I’ve ever had. First, it costs absolutely nothing (I have to go to the Supermarket anyway). Second, it’s easy (all you have to do is read the covers). Third it’s titillating (would be a lot more titillating if I actually read any of these articles but I have a rule against that, it keeps me from foolishly ever buying one of them). Fourth, you don’t have to work on it every day, or even every week, as the magazines come out only once a month). There is only one minor problem in that it is difficult to restrict the domain. That is, virtually all Women’s magazines deal with things like having sexy hair, sexy bodies, sexy arms, sexy legs, sexy smiles, sexy eyes, sexy dresses, sexy sandals, and so on and on (I still haven’t seen any claims for sexy feet). Thus if you are not really disciplined you end up with a never ending supply of material. You have to stick with the real nitty gritty sex. This month, for example, there are three articles in Cosmopolitan that clearly are collectible (Cosmopolitan seems to be significantly more interested in the topic of sex than other similar magazines): “99 Sex Moves, Sweet and Slow, Quick and Dirty, and Everything in Between,” “The Hour Men Crave Sex Most,” and “Unleash Your Cheeks, Why Guys Stopped Loving the Thong” (this might be somewhat borderline). I submit these all meet the basic criteria for my hobby. Women’s Health offers “Make Good Sex Great, 15 Scorching Foreplay Moves to Try Tonight.” Redbook offers “Sex Every Night? What 2000 Women Desire in Bed – and What They’re Really Doing.” Glamour, not to be left behind, offered, “101 Things No One Tells You About Guys, Their Sex Desires, Their Body Hang-ups, and the Real Reasons They Cheat.” Self Magazine gives us “More Pleasure in Bed, Maximize Your Fun and His (But Mostly Yours).” The sum total of this seems to indicate that American women may be obsessively interested in sex. This is probably just as well, as American men appear to be obsessively interested in the same thing. Wow, what a revelation! Now with Viagra and Cialis and other aids they can pursue it virtually full time.

But enough of sex and hobbies, let’s turn to more serious matters, like saying stupid things and lying. I suppose you are aware that Leon Panetta, the current head of the CIA, has predicted we will have an attempted terrorist attack within 3 to 6 months. Wow, run for your bomb shelters (if you still have one), the terrorists are coming, the terrorists are coming! What kind of prediction is this? I could just as easily have predicted it. And as we apparently have such attacks regularly (even though we don’t always hear about them) this would seem to be a sure thing. So thanks Panetta for telling us the obvious. They just can’t get along without that constant element of fear that makes us behave just as they want us to.

As far as the lying goes, when it comes to Republicans it just never stops. If you watch the Rachel Maddow show (the best show on television that should be required watching) you were treated this evening to Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and Susan Collins of Maine telling the most outrageous lies about Obama’s terrorism policies. They were castigating Obama for doing precisely the same thing with terrorists the Bush/Cheney administration did some 300 times. Now why would they do such a thing? It seems to me there are only three possibilities: (1) they were unaware of this, (2) they were aware but just lied, or (3) they honestly forgot about it. If you believe either 1 or 3 they are either ignorant of what transpired in the Bush/Cheney administration (in which case they are seriously incompetent), or they suffer from serious memory lapses that should probably disqualify them from holding important offices in government. If you find these unacceptable you must conclude they were deliberately lying (which, I believe, they were). It seems there is no lie so outrageous or ridiculous the Republicans won’t use it to attempt to discredit our President. It is sad, really, that what used to be a pretty reasonable political party, has now become little more than a criminal conspiracy dedicated to overthrowing our elected President and once again taking control of our country in the name of greed and short term profit. Just like Capone, they have bought the judges, including the Supreme Court, Congresspersons and Senators, and are well on their way to succeeding. The only thing standing in their way is a Black and White President on a great white stallion temporarily slowing them down. The showdown at the corral is just beginning and the stakes are very high indeed. Paraphrasing Abraham Lincoln somewhat carelessly, Can our nation survive 90% slave (Proletariat) and 10% Bourgeoisie? Unless something happens quickly we will soon have no choice in the matter. All hail Corporate Masters, Excellencies, Royal Highnesses, Kings of Kings, God’s representatives on earth doing God’s work (they say).

LKBIQ:
To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.
Friedrich Nietzsche

TILT:
The first carousel in the United States was in Ohio in 1840.

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